The Millennial stereotypes are not ones that I want people to apply to me. Most of the characteristics I am referring too are due to intense helicopter parents that didn't want any harm to come to their babies. It left a generation of kids that should be adults right about now, still struggling at basic life skills. They are uncoachable, unteachable, unmanageable, and unequipped to deal with the daily challenges of the adult real world. I lovingly call this pack of people "The Participation Trophy Crew".
I became a mom in 2010, and bumped up a rank with baby #2 in 2012. I had no idea what being a mom would be like, and I wasn't fully prepared for it! I had spent a lot of time around babies as a kid. I babysat, I taught daycare & preschool classes, I was a nanny... but having your own is JUST NOT THE SAME!
One of the first things I decided was I would be a parent who establishes a home with rules. Spending time around an adult, whose child runs the house is not something I enjoy doing. It is hard, and uncomfortable, and my ADD leaves me only able to focus on the challenge at hand. I feel like I am stuck in an episode of Nanny 911! Rules change constantly, some are added, some are done away with. They can be bent on occasion, and updated as we go. However there are just some things that cannot be ignored in our home.
I grew up in the south, and I am very familiar with a belt, a wooden spoon, and on occasion... a hairbrush! I got spanked, and you know what, I don't ever remember getting spanked for the same thing twice! You learn your lesson when you get belted over something. I'm not resentful towards my parents for spanking me. In fact, I actually grew up to respect them. At 32, I still hate it to the core when I disappoint them.
Now, I do not belt or wooden spoon spank my children. However, I do have a "Spanking Spoon". This spoon is actually a spatula. I do not have to use it often. In fact, I use it so little that we all forget it exists from time to time. In my home discipline comes in many forms. Let me just say this though, the sheer sight of that spoon is enough to command respect, hear an apology, and end any bad behavior.
My goal in my home is not for my children to fear me, or any adult. My goal is to teach them how to respect adults, so that they can become respectable adults themselves. That's the deal! They have to grow up respecting the rules and everyone around them in order for that to happen. So discipline will continue.
My daughter is in 2nd grade currently, and I cannot say enough amazing things about her school. One of the really cool things about her school is the "House Program" they use. When a student enters the school, they are assigned a "House" just like in Harry Potter. You remain in that house until you graduate or leave the school. It allows you to grow relationships and get to know students in every grade, and truly builds a team unit mentality. You can earn points for your house in many ways. Going to Book Club, turning in Box Tops, earning Star Rewards for good behavior, so on and so forth. On the same note, you can LOSE points for your house when you exhibit behavior that is not up to the standards expected by the staff. You receive several verbal warnings, before a written warning. The written warning, causes points to be lost for your respective house. There are many further actions that follow the written warning as well. If you go all month without a warning, you get to attend the "Hall of Fame" for the month, which earns you the time for a special activity.
On Friday, my daughter arrived home in good spirits. Everything was great, until the written warning was discovered in her notebook. After the "Momvestigation" that I ran, it was determined that she in fact was very guilty. She not only deserved the written warning, but I am somewhat surprised that she didn't receive a BRR instead. A BRR is the step after the warning of course and goes on file. Another student called her "Small", so she kicked the junk out of him, repeatedly.
Now... let me just state, I am all for standing up for yourself, however there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to physically hurt another child. The only time I might look past this, is if a child was kicking my daughter, and she returned the blows in defense. That is simply not the case here.
In a moment like this, I take a few minutes to evaluate what the best method of punishment would be. I personally like to give her 2 options, and let her choose the punishment. Then I usually dole out the punishment she didn't ask for because it obviously is the more upsetting and effective of the 2. One of her best friends had gotten off the bus with her on Friday, and was going to have a play date until about 7pm that night. They were both very excited about it. While I can't stand the fact, that the punishment affected the other child, the only logical option was to send this child home and cancel the play date. My daughter was distraught that her actions had caused the loss of time with her friend, and I think it will effectively encourage better behavior at school. No spanking spoon needed!!!
My point in this post, is this... it is my responsibility as a parent to teach my children what is right and wrong. I am not her friend, although I hope she feels she can come to me about anything. I am her parent, and I have to ensure that she can grow to be responsible, independent, and respectful of others. That means discipline. That means rules. That means letting her fail and learn from her mistakes. Being a parent is tough, and sometimes it isn't very fun!! But, my job remains the same. I am not raising someone who will fall into that "Millennial Stereotype". I am raising someone who will be the boss lady one day! I am raising someone who will achieve her dreams one day! I am raising someone who will be an amazing mom, and hopefully pass on those ideals to her children.
I am a mom. A mom with rules, and a mom is runs this household!
That's the Deal!
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