I Start Tomorrow

Have you ever wanted something so badly yet you had no idea how much you wanted it?!

I know, I know.  That doesn't make a ton of sense, yet some of you probably know the feeling!  Lemme explain what I mean.  I was raised in small town North Carolina.  In 2003, when I graduated high school, I didn't know what I wanted to do.  Honestly, it is kind of mean to expect someone to know what they want to do forever at 18 years old.  I had no clue.  I dropped out of college because nothing interested me and i was overwhelmed.  I always figured I would go back, but somewhere along the line I met someone.
In my head, I painted this picture perfect life together.  Marriage, kids, white picket fence. I mean I was small town and while I may not be able to say what I wanted to do, getting married at 22 was just something people did!  After you got married, you started a family, and I considered myself fortunate to stay home and raise my children.
Well, over 8 years at home, no college degree, and a divorce later... I found myself terrified and lost.  What in the world was I going to do now.  I had run several small businesses from home but nothing that would pay the bills, and I have been out of the work force for too long and don't have a degree.
Thankfully, my mom got me a part time job with Hallmark.  That job meant flexible schedules and additional income that helped the bills get paid every month.  However, it has never been something I enjoyed doing.  You know how you dust your house and the dust always seems to come back?  That is kind of how I feel working for Hallmark.  I go to my accounts every week and they look a hot mess once again.  Shoppers can't seem to put the cards back where they found them.  Envelopes are stolen. Product is damaged.  My time budgeted is never enough and they always want more work from me.  I work alone, so no one ever tells me when I do something right, but hell raineth fury upon me if I do something wrong!

I took some time to really think about what I wanted to do with my life.  What makes Jessica happy?  What do you enjoy doing?  What makes you proud?  I came up with 2 things.
Cheerleading and Graphic Design.

I found a position as a cheerleading coach by accident!  I enjoy every second of it, and while the position is unpaid, the experience has been invaluable.  I have learned a lot about what is legal, how to break things down to kids of this age, and seem to have settled into a place that I feel like I belong. In fact, I can't imagine not coaching, and I pray that one day this coaching thing can be something that pays the bills!
Ok, so cheerleading happened, now this graphic design thing, what do I do?  I looked into school.  I looked into certifications.  I looked into training programs on software.  I looked into a lot, and I just couldn't seem to land on anything that worked with my single mom life and my single mom budget.

So I started to pray about it.
I feel guilty admitting this, but in full transparency, prayer is not my first line of defense when I have a problem or a goal of this size.  I do not consider myself a pessimist but I do consider myself a realist.  I went into the doctor office almost 6 years ago now thinking "you are making something out of nothing and just being dramatic.  Dial it down Jess".  That was the day that I learned my son was special needs, and ever since then... I expect the worst and pray for the best.
I have zero formal graphic designer experience.  I have no degree.  I have no training in any of the main software systems that graphic design jobs use and I can't afford that software at my home.  Who on earth would hire me, I wouldn't hire me, and I know what I am capable of!  On paper, I am a zero.

But I prayed and I patiently waited, and then it happened.  "Babe, the owners of FastSigns would like to know if you are interested in doing design work for them part time."  WHAT?  ME??  REALLY???

I prayed more, and I had faith that if this was meant to be, it would happen.
I start tomorrow.  I went in today and met with the team.  I played with the software for an hour and realized that I not only know almost all of the main functions and tools, but I can teach myself quickly what I do not already know.  I took their design test, and I passed with flying colors!

Tomorrow, I start my dream job, and I didn't know that I had a dream job!  The girl who dropped out of college because she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life, is starting her dream job tomorrow.  The girl who prayed that she would find something that paid more than Hallmark, something that gave her a consistent schedule, and something that would allow room for growth, starts her dream job tomorrow.

I finally have something I am proud of.  Something that is mine.  Something I have worked hard and become self taught.  Something I built a small business at home while feeding a baby her bottle.  Something I enjoy and feel gratification from.  Something that little girl of mine can be proud of her mom for doing and accomplishing.

I have to give the glory to God, because I prayed.  I prayed consistently and I had faith that he would provide what I needed.  My heart is exploding and I am overwhelmed with joy.
Jessica is not only Mom, and Coach Jess.  Now she is a Graphic Designer!!!