Anyone can make it in a car 4 miles. It won't take long at all.
I kept thinking these words of confidence and affirmation to myself, and I swear the destination stood up and walked further and further away.
How could 4 miles take 20 minutes?
Why aren't we there yet?
And then I saw it... the Golden Arches finally came into view. Those glorious beautiful Golden Arches. Until a few months ago, I hate this place. I hated the thought of ingesting anything made inside that building, but it has now become a beacon of hope. A landmark, announced by the tiny male in the backseat, every single time he sees it.
That tiny male used to be such a happy little guy. He was always smiling and always laughing. Just being in the same room with him, would make you smile and laugh too. Now this little guy seems to be upset more often than not. He has become the tiny little dictator, that our days and our schedules are determined by.
At this moment, he is hungry. That word may sound normal to you, the idea of hunger is likely casual in your world. When you are hungry, you eat. The concept isn't difficult, unless you are this tiny little dictator. The list of daily challenges seems to grow every week for our family. While I try to roll with it, and just deal with each and every meltdown, there comes a point where the meltdown makes you want to jump off of a cliff. This little guy has a very long list of disabilities and challenges, but the issue at the moment stems from his Sensory Processing Disorder. He is battling a challenge called "Interoceptive Under-Responsiveness". Did you have to read that 2 or 3 times to get it out, and still have no idea what it means?? You are not alone. Let me explain it to you...
"Interception is a relatively unheard of sensory system. It is the sense responsible for detecting internal regulation responses, such as respiration, hunger, heart rate, and the need for digestive elimination. It is detected though nerve endings lining the respiratory and digestive mucous membranes...
If a person is under responsive to interception, they man not feel or respond to these sensations appropriately, quickly enough, or at all. They may rarely feel themselves breathing or their hearts beating. They may not feel hungry or thirsty often, so they may nor eat or drink as often as others because they do not sense the need to. They will often be slow potty trainers and may end up developing enuresis because they do not feel the need to eliminate bowel waste or urine before the body begins to perform this task anyway."
- Full Article can be found HERE
So to sum it up, he is HANGRY. Now, imagine the most hungry you have ever been, and imagine how irritable and mad it made you. This tiny little dictator didn't feel the need to eat until it was too late. We are now facing a full force Hanger Meltdown.
We pull into the parking lot, and follow the white lines straight into the drive thru. Fortunately it is now 12:50pm, so the lunch rush is over. It has been about 20 hours since he has eaten anything. This isn't because we didn't offer food... we did, but he doesn't feel the need to eat.
I wasn't prepared for this meltdown and I am devoid of any and all snacks.
I thought we could make it home, and I could get lunch together. That isn't happening
I roll the window down, to place an order. I can barely get my thoughts together over the screaming, but the sound of the lady's voice in the speaker is like music at this point.
"Welcome to McDonalds, May I take your order?"
YES... FOOD, give me FOOD, I think to myself. "I need a 6 piece Happy Meal with Chocolate Milk, and extra fries."
"What sauces would you like with this today?"
ARE YOU F&$#ING KIDDING ME? I DONT CARE ABOUT SAUCE, GIVE ME CHICKEN.
"No Sauce today", I reply.
I franticly finish the order, pull up to the window, damn near throw my CC at the women waiting for payment.
Have you ever dipped your toe into a pool, to see what the water temperature is? Imagine standing on a cliff over a river of lava, and I am dipping my toes in the water. I am ready to jump... GIVE ME THE CHICKEN.
Finally, I have boxes in hand, and I pull into a parking place. The box of nuggets is so hot I can barely touch it, but he is losing it, so I wrap it in a napkin. I turn on the AC full blast, and tell him to hold the nuggets up to the vent. He takes hold of a nugget, briefly lets the cool air blast it, and puts the entire nugget into his mouth.
It took 6 nuggets and a Small Fry fully chewed and swallowed before the crying stopped. It is by far the worst this has ever gotten. I am finally able to breathe, and Panic Mode has long passed...
That is when I realize, SHE IS BACK THERE TOO.
My oldest is 7, and she is used to the meltdowns. She is the only person alive that can understand the tiny dictator when his words are inaudible. She has been there and witnessed every single challenge. She has encouraged him. She has found patience when there was no way I could. She is kind. She is observant, and she is ALWAYS trying to help.
This is when it fully hit me... I understand why she came before him! She was sent to me. God sent this little girl to me to be the support, the encouragement, and the help that I need. She is the most amazing sister, and she has a deep understanding and empathy for everything we face due to the Tiny Dictator's Challenge List.
She often gets overlooked, because he require so much. She often has to take care and entertain herself because of everything going on with him. And through all of it she is calm. She is quiet. She is there, taking it all in and trying to find a way to help. Sure she has her moments, she is 7. She is a kid, and she will act like one from time to time! But, she is amazing and truly a gift.
SHE WAS SENT TO ME.
