Jessica Flavored Jesus

What in the world does she mean by that?!?!  I am sure that those who are reading this blog right now, are not reading it because they follow me consistently, but more out of curiosity of what the title means!  I very wise woman whom I have grown to know over the past month, told me about Jessica Flavored Jesus and this concept is one that I really like!!!
Those who are closest to me, can attest to what I am about to share.  Being a friend of mine, means having a real friend.  I will not sugar coat the truth, but I will not hurt your feelings when I tell you this truth.  If I do, I will apologize genuinely, because that is who I am.  I am very honest, I am kind, I am loud, I am transparent, I am completely unashamed of who I am, I am creative, I am helpful, I am loyal, I am eager to embrace you, I am fun, I am grateful, I am driven, I am selfless, I am passionate... I AM GENUINE.
I do not think that feeling this way about myself makes me conceited, because I feel like I am the way that I am because of what life has taught me.  All of my life experiences, good choices & bad, have lead me to where I am today.  I love Jesus, and I am happy to tell anyone about him.  I will not ever force my beliefs or opinions on others, but I will stand behind them.  When you openly & publicly profess your love for Jesus, you become a witness for him.  People who do not believe in him, or call him their savior, but know you personally will consider you one of the "poster children" for Christianity.  When they hear things about Christians, they will think compare the thought to you.  Example:  "Christians are so judgmental." The friend that knows you may think, "Jessica isn't judgmental, she is honest, but I do not feel judged by her."
THIS IS JESSICA FLAVORED JESUS.
The way people see Jesus through ME.  I make mistakes, but I own them. I am not afraid to humble myself and apologize.  I am honest, and I love completely.  These things are my own personal flavor of Jesus.  I have blogged before about what i think it means to be a Christian, and I have blogged before about who I am.  However, I have never combined the 2, and I think this is critical for me to grow spiritually.

SO... what is your flavor?  How do people see Jesus through you?  If you aren't a believer in Christ, how do you think people see you as a person?  What is your flavor?  I can honestly say that knowing God changed who I am for the better.  Before I knew him, I think people looked at me and thought "she needs Jesus.". And they were right, I did.  Your spiritual walk is for no one but yourself, but your flavor is something you share.  Do you know what flavor you are?

The Art of Apologizing

My wonderful couple's small group had an awesome discussion last night, that really got me thinking.  I have blogged before about my ideals on marriage, and how making a marriage is a job.  There are lots things that you have to learn about your spouse over the years, to better equip yourself for the journey you take together.  Think of this mandatory education as a way to make this journey more fun and less of a challenge! More than most people I know have heard of the 5 Love Languages.  Figuring out your love language and the language of your spouse, can really prevent a lot of fighting.  You learn how they see love, and how they show love.  If you haven't heard of these... here they are for you.

Words of Affirmation

If your spouse's primary love language is words of affirmation, your spoken praise and appreciation will fall like rain on parched soil. Before long, you will see new life sprouting in your marriage as your spouse responds to your words of love.

Acts of Service

Do you remember the old saying, "Actions speak louder than words"? For some people, that is particularly true of love. If acts of service is your spouse's primary love language, nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service. 

Receiving Gifts

The gifts need not be expensive or elaborate; it's the thought that counts. Even something as simple as a homemade card or a few cheerful flowers will communicate your love to your spouse. Little things mean a lot to a person whose primary love language is receiving gifts.

Quality Time

If your spouse's love language is quality time, giving him or her your undivided attention is one of the best ways you can show your love. Some men pride themselves on being able to watch television, read a magazine, and listen to their wives, all at the same time. That is an admirable trait, but it is not speaking the love language of quality time.

Physical Touch

If physical touch is your spouse's primary love language, nothing communicates love more clearly than for you to take the initiative to reach out and touch your mate.

(These descriptions all come from Focus on the Family)

(If you would like to take the online quiz to find out what your love language is, you can do so HERE.)

I know without a shadow of a doubt that my husband needs love spoken via physical touch.  He needs hugs, kisses, hand holding, and closeness to feel loved.  He speaks love via acts of service.  I speak love through gifts.  I LOVE giving gifts, and it makes me feel like I have shown love when someone loves something I give them.  I need to quality time, and words of affirmation.  Both of my children crave physical touch, but my 4 year old, really needs words of affirmation. By determining what languages your loved ones use and need, it is so much easier to communicate love.

The same concept can be applied to the concept of apologizing.  So, you have taken the time to learn your spouse's love language, have you stopped to think that maybe your spouse doesn't hear your apologies in the same context that you speak them???  We all need a different type of apology & I can really help you avoid additional arguments and a lot of hurt feelings by sharing these with you!

Expressing Regret ("I am sorry")

List the hurtful effects of your action. Show remorse. It doesn't count if the person is only sorry that they got caught! 

Accepting Responsibility ("I was wrong")

Name your mistake & accept fault.  Not that it is easier to say "You are right" than "I am wrong", but the latter carries more weight.

Restitution ("What can I do to make it right?")

How are they now?  Is any debt owed or repayment due?  How shall I make amends to you?  Do they need help dusting themselves off and getting back up on their feet?

Repentance ("I'll try not to do it again.")

Repentance literally means turning around 180 degrees.  Engage in problem-solving.  Don't make excuses.

Requesting Forgiveness ("Will you please forgive me?")

Be patient in seeking forgiveness and reconciliation.  The may need some time or greater clarification of your input from Apology Languages 1-4.

When you know you have offended or hurt your spouse, act quickly & humbly to repair the damage you have caused.  There is nothing wrong with humbling yourself before the person you have promised to love for the rest of your earthly days.  We get too comfortable in our marriages and the complacency can lead to hurtful comments and wrong doings without meaning to do them at all.  You have to keep dating your spouse.  Before you do or say something, think about your dating days, and decide if you would have been willing to do or say that same thing before you tied the knot.  If you wouldn't be, it might be best to think things over for a bit before you move forward.  

Apologize to them when you have hurt them, and do it in the language that they process well!  One of our "couple" friends learned last night that his apology language is Repentance & Requesting Forgiveness.  Her language was Expressing Regret & Accepting Responsibility.  There is potential danger here in the way they hear apologies very differently.  Her apology is short and sweet.  "I screwed it up, and I am sorry".  In her mind, she has owned up to it and apologized, so they need to move on.  In his mind, she hasn't really apologized in a way that he feels is appropriate.  When he apologizes, he gives layers of apology.  "Things will be different in the future, and I hope you will forgive me."  Because she hears apology different that he does, his apology seems forced, fake, and in-genuine.  

Take a few minutes today and take this online quiz.  Learn what language you need to hear apology in, and have your spouse do the same.  Take the time to learn what the other needs, and practice apologizing in the way they will hear it, process it, and feel like their feelings matter to you.  

I bet you it will help more than you thought it was possible!

YOU ARE WELCOME!

Momspirations

If you are a young mother, you almost certainly have momspirations in your life!  A momspiration is another mother (OTHER THAN YOUR MOM) whom you look up too and admire for whatever reasons.  I have LOTS of momspirations in my life, and I wanted to take a few minutes to show them the respect that they deserve!!!
First, let me say that I have a lot of respect for my mom, and I look up to her.  However, my entire life has been me learning and watching her and most of what I already do as a mom, stems from her.  So, I don't call her a momspiration.  I like to think that she was the teacher in how to be a mother!
Like I said, I have a lot of momspirations, but I wanted to name 5 of them, and explain why I look up to them as I do! In no particular order...

Karyn Sterling

Elizabeth Norton

Melissa Wray

Alli Halpin

Amber Scavo

All 5 of you ladies, have had an impact on my life in so way,, and I admire the mother that you are!  I am going to call you out indiviually, and explain what it is that I look up to you for!  

Karyn Sterling

Karyn & I met in 2009.  She lived 7 houses down the street from us at the time, and the sign in her front yard said that they had welcomed a baby girl!!  We hadn't really introduced ourselves to them just yet, but we gave them a baby gift.  I was due in March, and when I met her and her sweet baby, Reagan, I watched her every move!  She was so fluid and natural at the mom thing, that it looked easy!  It made me excited to meet our little girl, more than ever before!  When Abbie was born, the Sterling family brought dinner to us, and we enjoyed the friendship that developed with them!!  We would take walks through the neighborhood often, and Abbie's first "play date" was with none other than Ms Reagan!!  When Abbie was just 8 weeks old we attended a community group that Karyn & her husband, Brad, had invited us too!  This was our first experience with a small group, and we loved them dearly!!  Karyn was my first mom friend that I had, and even better... my first Christian friend as a new mom!  Since Reagan was 3 months older than Abbie, I was able to take notes from her and learn from every phase before it happened!  

The reason that Karyn is a momspiration to me, is her incredible ability to discipline with kindness.  Karyn is a god centered woman, and she is raising god centered children!  She is able to maintain an even tone of voice and still get the respect she should from her kids!  They listen to her, and if they do not listen, the discipline is fair, consistent, and delivered with love.  I aspire to be more like her when it comes to patience with my children and consistency in discipline.  I admire her so much, and I hate that we moved so far away from her 3.5 years ago!!  You are an amazing mom Karyn, and your family is so precious to us!

Elizabeth Norton

Elizabeth & I met in 2011, at a Mom's Small Group through the church I was attending.  Liz did not attend the church that the group was through, but came to the group through a friend who did.  She was pregnant with her 3rd child and I was pregnant with my 2nd!  Her 2 children, were beyond precious, and I enjoyed getting to know them!  I knew Liz through this group for 2 years, when she told me that her couple's small group had lost some members, and they were looking to open the group to a new couple!  The group met on Monday nights and Derik & I felt that this was quite literally an answer to our prayers.  We needed a couples group, and Monday night was the only night we could meet, so we headed off to meet them all in August of last year!!  We fell in love with the group immediately.  Liz & her husband, Clark, are the group leaders & we have enjoyed getting to be a part of their family.  Kalli, is their oldest, and she is one of Abbie's best friends!  Wells, their 2nd, is actually very close to Abbie's age, and Abbie tells me that he is her boyfriend!  Collins is only 6 months younger than Brady, and the 2 of them are great buddies!!!  

The reason that Liz is a momspiration to me, is her surreal ability to be honest & not even slightly judgemental at the same time!  It is a gift, and I envy that gift!!  Since we met, I can ask her anything and know without question that her answer will be honest and genuine.  However, that honesty is never hurtful.  She has the ability to quote scripture and explain it to me in a way that I understand.  Some times people with this ability come across sanctimonious, but not Elizabeth.  It is always heart felt, and real.  She is smart, and cares about everyone she knows!  Those who are lucky enough to call her a friend, never feel left out, and always feel important!  I don't know how she does this with 3 children... all of which she homeschools!!!  She is able to teach her children about God, and the retain it!  I want to be just like Liz when I grow up!!!

Melissa Wray

I don't have a clue when I met Aunt Melissa, because I don't ever remember life without knowing her!  We never lived very close to her, but most of my childhood memories are either at her house, or on a trip with her family!!  Melissa is Mormon, and the Mormon faith focuses a lot on family relationships.  One of my favorite memories as a child is participating in Family Night at her house!  Once a week, the kids got to pick out a snack, a bible story, a game, and so on.  Then we all got to participate in an evening of family fun!  

This is without a doubt the reason she is one of my momspirations!  Her family is so important to her, and I can say I feel that importance without being one of her children!  I still get a birthday card from her, and I even get Mother's Day cards from her!!  She is kind and cares about her family, and I have learned so much from her.  Her blog was my inspiration to begin blogging.  She gardens, and grows a good amount of what they eat in their home!  She is an incredible cook, and wonderful hostess, and does so much for so many people.  I am not Mormon, however, I plan to implement Family Night in our home when the kids are just a bit older.  It is one memory that I want to pass on to my family!

Alli Halpin

I met Alli in 2011 when I moved to Virginia.  She was a part of the Mom's Club & I met her at an event! She is a mom of 4, all of which she homeschools, and her resume is without a doubt the reason that she is one of my momspirations!  

She teaches Sh'bam and lost more weight doing so than I can even understand!  She set a goal for herself, and stuck to it.  That is something I have never been good at, and I envy her ability to do so. But, teaching Sh'bam isn't her only gift.  She is also a Doula & is incredible at her job!  She is a gifted photographer, responsible for almost all of our family photos!!!  She also cooks from scratch, I might add and it is always delicious!!!

She is amazing at everything she does, and I can't understand how she juggles all of these things while being GREAT at all of them!!!  She is always smiling, and will have you smiling in minutes even if your day was horrible.  She is an incredible mom with a beautiful family, and I aspire to be half the woman that she is!!!

Amber Scavo

I met Amber in 2010, when I was in MOPS at Westover Church.  She gave her testimony in one of the meetings, and every woman in the room was sobbing!  We weren't close, and I didn't relate much to her story, until Brady was diagnosed with a rare brain condition in 2012.  Amber has since that moment been one of the most supportive & encouraging people I have ever known.  She understands what I go through, and she feels the pain & heartache we experience.  

Her beautiful young daughter was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago.  Her journey through that experience has been 100% grace filled.  She likely would say that is not true, because she is very humble, but it is!  I honestly do not know how she does all that she does & still have the amazing outlook on life that she does.  Her children are also both very Christ like and say things that show their wisdom!  I know this wisdom comes from their mother, because she has continuously given me wise advice on every twist and turn in our road.

She is one of my momspirations because she is so grace filled, even in the hard times.  I admire this quality, and with every showcase of it, I long to be more like her!

So, stop and think about your mom journey.  Who are your momspirations???  Why do you look up to them, and how have they affected the way you raise your family??  Have you told them that you admire their qualities?  Have you told them that you admire them as mothers, as women?!?!  You should.  Each of these 5 ladies I mentioned have momspirations that taught them to be the moms they are!  I have many other women in my life that I look up to for various reasons.  These are just a few of the women I am blessed to know and respect so highly!  Thank you so much for being you, and for showing me how to do this whole mom thing!  I appreciate each of you more than you can know!!

Turning Life Into A Sitcom

How many sitcoms have you watched and loved over the years?  Facts of Life, Growing Pains, Step by Step, Full House, Family Matters, Home Improvement, Frasier, FRIENDS, Will & Grace, Mad About You, Dharma & Greg, King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Who's the Boss, 3's Company, The Brady Bunch, I Love Lucy... I could go on and on.  Chances are that at some point in your life, you have watched an episode of at least one of these shows.  I bet you might be able to name the entire cast of at least 3 of the shows I mentioned!!  Why are sitcoms so popular?  Why do Americans love these shows so much??  The answer is pretty simple... we can relate to them!
Sitcoms take relatable situations and make you laugh!  Tough times in high school, they couldn't have been worse than those on Saved By the Bell.  Family troubles, at least your cousin, Carlton, didn't constantly ruin all of your plans!  It always seemed to make life seem fun, and I think we could all stand to laugh a little more often!
So, what would our lives look like if they were sitcoms?  It would mean a few things...

Less Stress...
   While the families and friends in these shows always experienced stressful situations, they never stayed stressed out for very long.  Friends were honest, family members were there for each other, and everything always worked itself out.  I am completely aware that the situations were scripted to work themselves out.  But, let's play a little game!  How would you react in your family if your Mother in Law & Father in Law backed their car into your living room!?!?  That is right... Season 5, Episode 3 of Everybody Loves Raymond started with Marie & Frank driving their car backwards into the front door of Ray's house, where they finally came to a stop after rear ending Ray's couch.
Now, imagine your reaction.  Imagine the chaos, the time, and money that it would take to fix this mess.  Insurance negotiations, Contractor bids, framing work, drywall, the list goes on and on.
It would be stressful yes, but would you be able to find the funny???  Or would you think this was malicious and hold a grudge for life???

More Memories...
  I can name memorable moments from most of my favorite sitcoms.  Joey sawing Chandler's bedroom door in half while trying to build an entertainment unit on FRIENDS! Tim going ice fishing with Al, and falling through the ice, ultimately losing his car keys!  My favorite episode of the Cosby Show was the one where Bill emptied out Theo's room, and made him pay rent, because he didn't want to go to school.  I am not sure that I could name this many memories off the top of my head from my own life.  I remember the day I got married, and the day I met my babies, but what about the chaotic & crazy things?!?!  Those are memories too!!  One of the only memories like this that I have, is Abbie drawing all over her furniture, her walls, her clothes, and herself with a permanent marker.  The reason this memory sticks out, is because I opted for laughter over anger, and I grabbed the video camera!  If we laughed at those situations more and stressed a little less, we would have a lot more funny memories!

Making Others Smile...
  If you are laughing at a show on the tv, there are likely millions of other people who think it is funny too!  You can use life's crazy as an opportunity to find the funny and make others laugh too!  Having kids is really a comedy act!!  Life constantly throws things at you that are insanely ridiculous, and that is part of the fun of having kids!!!  When you find your daughter on the floor with 200 tampons unwrapped and swinging them by their strings... LAUGH.  When you find your sons in the living room with a 5lb bag of floor that has been slung all over your house... LAUGH.  When your toddler pulls out 500 baby wipes and builds a little wipe mountain on the carpet... LAUGH.  Let your kids see you laugh.  Let your family see you laugh.  Share your laughs with your friends so they can laugh too.  Sometimes life gets overwhelming, but tomorrow will come!  Yes, it may take you a year to get all of the flour out of the carpets, rugs, and upholstered furniture... but laughing is so much easier than stress!
TURN YOUR LIFE INTO A SITCOM & fill it with laughter and hysterical memories!

Hear We Go!

I am not sure who I have been trying to convince that I am not completely wiped after today, everyone who has asked, or myself! Today was overwhelming both physically & emotionally, but it was worth every second.  I got up at 5am, after being awake most of the night!  I was so excited for Brady, and I couldn't wait to get there this morning.  We headed to the hospital around 5:30, and checked in right on time!  After making our way back to the Prep room, and meeting the large team of doctors, nurses, residents, and students that would be working on Brady's case, anxiety and reality began to sink in!  We gave Brady final kisses and walked with him to the OR doors.  As they wheeled the stretcher away from me, I couldn't fight the tears any longer.  I can be solid as a rock as long as one of my kids are looking at me, but the moment they can't see my weakness, I melt.  Watching him disappear behind the doors was like watching the precious angel I have known and loved for the last 2 1/2 years vanish.  I know this surgery is awesome and such a huge blessing, and I do not take that for granted at all.
Being a special needs momma poses an interesting Catch 22!!  I have been able to enjoy the "baby phase" much longer than most mothers are allowed.  I have gotten rather attached to my baby, and I am not ready to let go of that phase yet.  While I want him to walk, I am okay that he still needs me.  While I want him to talk, I am okay that he still communicates immaturely.  While I want him off baby food, I am not ready to stop feeding him!!!  It is a strange feeling to experience, and watching him go into the OR... I knew that things were changing.  I am excited, and sad at the same time.

The waiting room visit was relatively short for us, but it seemed like a lifetime!  We were informed after 45 mins of waiting that the nurse would be calling us on the phone in the waiting room.  My heart sank thinking something had gone terribly wrong, and I was so afraid of what the call would be about.  The nurse with Brady, Tiffany, was calling to let us know that the procedure began at 8:20 and that Brady had done amazing thus far.  I felt like I could breathe a little, but at the same time, my stomach was in a knot.  I knew that meant we now had to wait for at least 90 mins before we had another update!  Fortunately, I fell asleep, and I awoke to Derik getting up to answer the next phone call!  They informed us that Brady's procedure was finished and they were testing the device!

BREATHE JESSICA!

It was about 15 mins later that Dr. Coehlo appeared in the waiting room in ensure us that everything went exactly as they wanted it too!  Brady had done well, the device was working, and they were cleaning him up for his trip to recovery.  He answered a few questions, and handed us a book bag, and a very large box!! These 2 things held all of the pieces and parts for Brady's newest piece of technology!!  

I was completely floored on how many parts & pieces there actually were!  

My favorite thing was the monkey that came with the entire kit and caboodle! 

 He has his very own cochlear implant!!  

Another patient waiting for surgery in the Pediatric Waiting Room helped name the monkey... Buster!  

It felt like FOREVER, but it was really only a few mins when we heard the most pitiful cry coming down the hall.  It was Brady, and he was waking up!!  

When we got into recovery, I climbed into the bed with him.  

He laid him on my chest, where he fell asleep for at least an hour.  

His wake period was pretty rough, but after his nap, he was much happier.  

Since everything went as planned, we were sent home by noon!

Abbie was BEYOND excited to see Brady, and was such a sweetheart.  

She snuggled with him until he decided it was time for another nap.  

We spent our afternoon running around Midlothian, trying desperately to find Brady's RX pain meds.  We finally found them at a pharmacy in Short Pump, and we were able to give him another dose this evening. Hopefully he rests well this evening, and we have a much easier day tomorrow.  Dr. Coehlo called us this evening, to check on Brady.  He was so reassuring and after hearing a recap of our day, he put my mind at ease, by saying that it all sounded very normal!  

We followup with Dr. Coehlo on Friday next week, and in 4 weeks, we will get to turn this bad boy on and see what Brady thinks!!!  I am SOOOOOO excited to see his reaction, and the 4 week wait, might actually kill me!!!

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, and your kind messages.  We appreciate the incredible support from so many of our friends and family.  

The Mommy Wars

You may not even know it, but if you are a mom... you are a soldier.
By soldier, I mean that you go to battle every day, to defend your life.
The "Mommy World" of 2014, can be a really challenging place to be.  I constantly tell my mom, "I just don't know how you raised babies in the 80's."  It is true that technology has come a long way, and there is much more available to moms these days to simplify life... but the truth is... it isn't the lack of STUFF that makes being a mom so complicated.  It is the lack of confidence.
I mean NO OFFENSE to my mom or any mom who raised children without the luxury of baby swag these days, but you guys had it so much easier than we do!  Sure, I had the Cadillac of all baby swings, dual direction rocking, ac plug in adapter, and 8 sound effects to ensure that my baby was content when I couldn't hold her.  The baby swing you had may have had a crank that you had to do every 5 mins or the swing would suddenly stop moving, the seat didn't recline, and it weighed as much as the baby did... BUT
you had it easier than us!
I have no idea how you survived without a video monitor that pans and zooms, and the pad under the mattress that tells you when your baby stops breathing.  How did your babies survive drop side cribs, and car seats with no expiration dates.  How did you keep your baby entertained without an iPad or a monthly Netflix subscription??
It is ironic that we, as moms born in the 80's, have everything in the world available to make this job easier for us, and yet we find it is so much harder.  There is a VERY logical reason for the difficulty that is being a mom in 2014...

With all of this SOCIAL MEDIA available at any second of any day... 

it is no wonder we stay so stressed out!

Am I doing that right?  Could I have done it better?  Will people agree with that choice?  Will they think I am a bad mom?  What if I don't look perfect?  Am I good enough?  

...MY GRACIOUS...

These questions are exhausting!  Social media was created with a purpose of getting connected.  Yet, without even realizing it, social media has become a weapon of mass destruction.  SO, as mothers... we have to keep in mind a few KEY ideals when surfing the many social media forums.

1)  DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

I know it seems like such a simple concept, but we forget it way too often.  My strengths as a mom, may not be your strengths and that is ok!!  I enjoy blogging, and I enjoy crafting, and I find joy in challenges like writing a cookbook, hosting a farmer's market booth, and running an Etsy shop.  HOWEVER, I have flaws... MANY of them... just like every mom does!

I HATE, and I can't exaggerate that word enough, cleaning!  I mean it.  I find no joy in cleaning!  Organizing is fun, but cleaning makes me gag!  I am a very BORING cook!  I make what I know, and I do not like being adventourous!  I have learned the hard way that I am TERRIBLE at teaching my daughter! Home school is likely not going to be an option for us, even though I want to do it so badly.  I have ZERO patience, and it works against me every day!  I am not good at playing Barbies, or tea parties, and I am too ADD to color... so my idea of fun with my kids, is popcorn and a movie!  

Instead of comparing yourself to another mom... acknowledge that their strength may be different from yours and use that as inspiration to motivate you.  Comparing is devastating... not motivating!  Ask yourself what your strengths are, and focus on those!

2)  DON'T ONE UP YOUR FRIENDS

All of us are struggling in some way shape or form, and everyone can use a little encouragement.  So build each other up, and stop tearing everyone down.  If you have a mom friend who is venting about her husband's schedule and how she wishes that he was around more... take that opportunity to ENCOURAGE.  

"I am so sorry that you are stressed, and that things are hard.  You are a wonderful mom and you are doing a great job.  Can I help you in anyway?  Even if it is just prayer... I am here if you need me.  On the bright side, you have really cute shoes on & all 3 of your kids have shoes on the right feet!!"

Even the most random compliment can completely make someone's day!

DON'T use this moment to put them down.

"I know your husband works an awful schedule, but it could be worse.  Mine travels 4 days a week, and my sister's husband is overseas for 3 months.  You will be ok."

Yes, reality of the situation, is they will be alright.  And, truth is, someone likely has it worse... BUT kicking someone while they are down is only going to rub salt in a wound.  Find a way to lift their spirit... they probably need the pick me up!  

3)  ALL STRESS IS REAL STRESS

It doesn't matter if you don't have special needs children, you aren't battling breast cancer, or you aren't drowning in a pool of debt.  Your stress is important, and it is okay to feel stressed!!  You do not have to feel bad about being stressed out, even if it is over something that seems minimal.  Try to remember that stress will not solve the problem, but you are human, and being stressed is normal!  

I remember someone telling me after returning from a mission trip, that they were angry at me for stressing out that my car wasn't big enough for the baby that I was pregnant with!  Our family car was a CRV, and I was venting about being worried that our family of 4 would be very SNUG in this car.  They said to me...

"At least you have a car.  You know there are people on this planet, that don't have a car at all, and have to walk where they need to go."

They are correct, and yes, I am aware that I am very fortunate and grateful for all that I have.  However, my response was...

"First world problems aren't equal to third world problems.  Just because they are different, doesn't make the problems in first world families any less valid than those of third world families.  Problems are problems."

Remember that just because your problems are different from someone else's... doesn't make them any less important or stressful!  Problems are problems & stress is stress.

4)  FACEBOOK ISN'T REALITY

What you see on Facebook is about 10% of someone's life!  They do a whole lot of living that they CHOOSE not to post on social media.  While you may have seen a picture of the amazing dinner that Susan cooked for her family of 5... there is a chance that Susan had a really tough day!!!  Maybe Susan's oldest child refused to eat that dinner, and told Susan that she was a horrible mom.  Maybe Susan's middle child STILL isn't completely potty trained at 4, and had an accident in the aisle of the grocery store this afternoon. Maybe Susan took her 2 year old to the grocery store with her wearing footed pajamas, a tutu, and swimmies because that was all they would wear today!  

YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY!  Maybe Susan had an awesome day, and her 3 children are perfect angels, with matching outfits, and clean bedrooms... but you DO NOT KNOW!!!  

Facebook paints a very false perception, so comparing yourself to any of your Facebook friends is just not fair!  You can't win, so don't play!

5)  YOU ARE A GOOD MOM

Trust your gut and don't worry about what other people might think!  You are an adult, and their opinions on your choices just don't matter!  Keep in mind that your children are watching you and learning from every move you make.  If you constantly encourage your friends, they will see that.  If you throw things when you are angry, they will see it.  If you always REMAIN TRUE TO YOURSELF... they will see that!  They will learn to emulate you, so live life like you want them too!  Don't worry so much about what other parents may think. The choices you make are in your families best interest... not theirs!

The Mommy Wars of Social Media are exhausting!!  So, surrender, and stop fighting.  It isn't worth the stress!!  Be the best mom that YOU know how to be. You are already doing a GREAT job at it!