What is "Normal"??

I never like to admit it, but I have been watching the Real Housewives of (Insert City... I watch all of them except Atlanta, because the drama is too much for me there.).  I have been watching them since the very first season of the Real Housewives of Orange County aired.  I have watched countless new housewives try and cultivate "friendships" in the various cities, and usually I feel for the newbie in the group.  However, on tonight's Season Premiere of the Real Housewives of New York, the newest housewife, Kristen Taekman, had me feeling something for her and it DEF wasn't sympathy.  

I didn't like her from the moment the opening credits started rolling, because her OPENING LINE that will air on EVERY show is...

"I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed,
but at least I'm pretty."

I was stunned that anyone could be as superficial and arrogant as that statement proved her to be.  Although, I have to admit... every housewife's opening line for this season was HORRIBLE.  None of them said anything good about the housewife who said it.  But, that is NOT the point of this post.  

The upsetting and disappointing part of this evening's show, was the introduction of Kristen's family to the audience.  We are shown her home, and she is having friend's over for dinner.  She starts discussing with Heather, another housewife, her daughter, Kingsley.  Kingsley is 17 months old, and she is unable to walk. This is NOT the part that caught my attention.  

Kristen is discussing leg braces with Heather, and tells her that when their therapist first mentioned braces, she pictured Forest Gump.  This I can actually relate to her on.  When we were first told that my 1 year old needed glasses, I immediately pictured goggles, and I was sad for a while.  The part of the conversation that really struck a nerve with me is when they were interviewing Kristen and she said this...

Kingsley is 17 months old, and she can't walk.  

She should be walking, and I just want her to be, I hate to say it, but normal.

NOW WE HAVE PROBLEMS.  

First, let's discuss that fact that no parent should ever want "normal" for their child.  Why would you want them to be average, to blend in, to fade into the background, and never be different???  No one should ever wish for normal, because our children deserve better than average.

Second, let's talk about what that word actually means, and why using it in this context can be hurtful to many.  Normal, by definition, means to be typical, expected, usual, or to conform to a standard.  Neither of my children are "normal"!!!  It doesn't matter if I am talking about my child with special needs, or without special needs, they are neither one "normal".  Abbie is not special needs, but she didn't take her 1st steps until she was 15 1/2 months old.  That isn't the usual or the expected, so by definition... she isn't NORMAL.  By wishing that her child was "normal", Kristen has in turn called my children abnormal.  This wouldn't be an issue if she didn't meant it in the sense that something is wrong with them, or that they are "broken".  However, that is what she meant, and it is the way her words were presented.  

By putting a label on our children, we are in turn teaching them that labels are okay to use.  Don't you want better for your children than a label??  I know I do.  I want more for Abbie than normal, and I want more for Brady than normal.  I want the best that the world can offer them, and that is so beyond normal.  I do not think that Brady is broken because he isn't walking at 2.  Is he different, sure.  But, different doesn't mean that I think there is anything wrong with him.  He is amazing, truly a gift, and I can't imagine him as "normal".  In fact, I do not even want too.  The same goes for Abbie.  There is NOTHING wrong with being different, and it bothers me every time that I hear someone elude to it being an issue.  

So, Kristen (I know you will never see this), I hope that you are privileged enough to meet some of the families of kids around the country with special needs.  These kids are all by definition, not normal, but they are amazing.  I hope that these families can open your eyes to the fact that it is okay to not be "normal".  I hope that your daughter never feels that you think something is wrong with her because she is "different", and I hope that one day, she can prove to you that "normal" isn't all it's cracked up to be.  

NO GOOD COMES FROM LABELING OTHERS.