Sunday, August 2, 2015

Life Changes with Young Children

When you found out you were pregnant, you were probably very excited.  If you weren't excited at first, you probably found your way to happy when you heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time.  There are so many amazing things about having babies, and while your life changes to adapt to life with a baby... it becomes the new normal very quickly.  
However, there are a lot of things that change about life, and until your children are no longer young, they will stay this way!  
If you have children, you can probably relate to everything below.
If you have one baby, especially new babies, this is what you have to look forward too!
If you do not have children, enjoy your life and all of your freedom!!!

Sleeping
Sleeping will no longer be a luxury that you just "get" all of the time!  Your baby is born, and for the first 3 months, you wonder if you will ever feel rested again.  Once the baby sleeps through the night, you get rested for about a year, maybe even 2!  Then come the nightmares, and the fear of darkness, and the monsters in the closet, and the midnight wet beds.  You will wake up to a mouse fart thinking it was a child calling your name!
Oh, and remember that whole "Fall Back" thing that you love so much in November.  That amazing day where you get an extra hour of sleep... that is over!  You will develop a hatred like to other for the creator of this Daylight Savings mess, and pray for its demise.  Your child's disrupted schedule will rock you and them for a week, if not longer! 
We have many rules in our house, but rules can easily be bent or broken... so in our house, we invoked 2 laws.  
1) Never touch mommy's plate... this means eating or touching food.
2) No kids in our bed... you can be sick & scared, with a broke leg, but you sleep in your bed!
While these are laws in our house, that is NOT the case in a lot of households!  So, you may also wind up with children in your bed.  This is a challenge that I consider myself blessed not to face!

Going Out
Remember when you and your beloved would go out to dinner?  A date night with some meaningful conversation, laughter, and eye contact. Unless you are ready to play the babysitter game... that is no longer an option!  Babysitters are not easy to find, and even harder to book.  Finding someone you trust enough to leave your children with is a challenge.  I remember babysitting for $5/hour, and that rate has now doubled!  $10/hour is the minimum these days, and that only includes 1 child and weekday nights during the summer!  Want them for 2 children, on a weekend... get ready to shell out!  The babysitter will often cost more than your dinner out!
If you decide to forego the sitter, and venture out to dinner as a family, you are in for a very special occasion!  My husband owns a restaurant, and since restaurants are our livelihood, we decided that we should train our children to dine out.  HOWEVER... this is not the norm!  
Ordering food that your child will not touch is standard.  You let them choose, and they don't eat it.  So you choose the next trip out, and they don't eat it.  We ALWAYS leave with to go boxes, and they don't eat this food at home either!  You will be chasing runaway crayons off a booth bench, because the food is still not at the table, and your ticking time bomb needs entertainment!  Those 4 crayons, and that paper placemat are all that is keeping your kid from melting down.  I have "Matrixed" over a child, and "Stretch Armstronged" to grab a crayon before!  Telling your child to sit down 10 times because the are talking to the table behind them, is completely normal!  I thank Jesus every time someone amuses them and partakes in the game of I Spy!  Unending drink refills lead to 3 trips to the public bathroom.  We water juice down at home, so juice in a restaurant is a real treat for my kids!  We usually allow 1 refill if refills are free, and we always find ourselves in a mad dash to the potty.  Darting through a busy restaurant with a child holding themselves is entertaining for some!  
The best part of dining out with kids is the explosion of mess that you leave behind you.  Leave a few extra bucks in the tip line, because no one wants to clean that mess up!

Traveling
Overnight trips are challenging, but the REAL treat is the first time you take your youngsters on
vacation!  Remember what it was like when you vacationed with your parents??  You played, you rested, you ate... it was fun!  Who was organizing what you did?  Who was packing and unpacking the car?  Who was paying for the bill?  Who was making food for you to eat?  Being the parent on the vacation is strangely exhausting, and you will quickly learn that vacations are work!  
Your car will never be big enough!  If you think you have enough room, you are wrong!  You will take so much stuff with you when you leave that you will question the need to lock your doors!  "Is there anything left for someone to take??"  Many of my friends have invested in a luggage shell for the top of your car, and they still barely get the trunk shut!  
You will also need 2 rooms when you stay somewhere... at the least!  All 4 of us attempted to stay in one hotel room ONCE!  My son in a pack and play, my daughter in my bed, and my husband in the other bed.  NO ONE SLEPT!  We all went to bed before 9, because the kids needed to sleep, and we were awake at least 10 times in the night.  Brady waking and not knowing where he was, Abbie kicking me in the ribs, a hotel door slamming when someone came in late... it never ended!  Travel expenses add up quickly, but investing 2 rooms could be worth the money! 

Shopping
This is NOT a task that you want to do with children over the age of 2!  Especially if the shopping includes groceries.  However, sometimes you have to take them!  I am absolutely the mom that opens a box of cheese crackers and 2 squeezer applesauces so that my kids behave while I grab essentials.  Shopping with kids is survival of the fittest!  
Shopping with out kids, is pretty much the best vacation ever!  You will stretch a trip to Target over an hour, and browse every section of the store!  I Target with a Starbucks & earbuds in my ears blasting my favorite songs!  That is one of the only times I get to hear my songs, as the radio alternates between Kids Bop and Fisher Price presents Fun in the Sun, 50 songs your kids will love!  I love Target!  It is my oasis, and when I manage to get out of the house, child free, and Target is the destination... I am Tim Robbins in Shawshank when he reaches the river and stands in the rain!

Meals
You may have this blissful idea of what family dinners will be like, and you are wrong!  This "family
dinner" concept is not one that thrives in homes with young children!  My oldest has a list of about 10 things she will eat, and yes we tried everything to get her to eat what we make!  We bribed, and it didn't work.  We threatened, and it didn't work.  We punished, and it didn't work.  We refused to give her anything else, and she didn't eat for 2 days!  She won... we gave up, and decided that it wasn't a battle we wanted to find any longer.  Our youngest is special needs, and he is unable to eat most table food.  His severe texture aversion poses serious issues, and leaves us with very few options for him.
By the time I have cooked dinner for my husband and myself, made plates for both children, and sat down... I feel like I have been run over my a small bus.  Your butt meets the seat, and the "You Forgot" list begins.  "Mom, you forgot to get me a drink.", "Mom, can I please have a napkin?"  "Mom, my fork fell on the floor, can I please have another one?"  She has the manners, but that dream of my family surrounding a table and enjoying the meal you made from scratch... doesn't happen!  Savor the moments that you do get... even if it is only 6 minutes, no one speaks, and you are all eating different things!

Hobbies
Hobbies cost money and take time.  Once upon a time, I scrapbooked.  I enjoyed doing this, and
found time every weekend, to make elaborate pages filled with memories of our favorite trips, experiences, and events.  I had a room devoted to crafting, and spent my extra cash on scrapbook supplies for my addiction.  That craft room became a playroom, and the craft supplies were demoted to a closet.  Slowly but surely my scrapbook supply has dwindled to almost nothing, and I no longer have the opportunity to do the hobby that I once loved so much!  Some moms I know are committed to continuing their hobby, and I say MORE POWER TO YOU!  I am jealous of those who were able to continue doing what they love, and pray that one day, I too will be able to continue my hobby!

Punctuality
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Being only 5 mins late... you should get a medal
Being on time... you should get a trophy
Being early... no one wants to know that you are able to make this happen!

Of course, you would think I am exaggerating most of this, but I am not!  We tend to do take out instead of eating out, we don't take vacations often, and every night when we go to bed... I say "Good Luck" to my husband!!  Life is completely different now then it was 6 years ago.  Children change everything!!  They are wonderful, they are amazing, they are blessings... and life will never be the same!


Jessica Farrar
Jessica Farrar

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