The Mom Transition

Becoming a mom is one of the most amazing, most difficult, and most interesting things that will ever happen to you!  Being responsible for the life of another human being can feel a touch overwhelming!  This little person come into your life after you have suffered through hours of laboring pain.  You had expectations of what this baby would look like, and maybe they were spot on or maybe you missed it by a mile!  Some mothers connect with their babies immediately, and others aren't really sure how this baby fits into their current family.  Some moms cry, some are stunned, some decide the moment they meet their child that everything in the world is now about this baby.  Suddenly you are responsible for the well being, and protection of something completely dependent on you.  It rocks you, it rocks your marriage, and it rocks your family.

I remember the day I met my daughter like it was yesterday.  (I know that is incredibly cliche, but oh well!)  She was early, and I was terrified.  Was she going to be ok? Was I going to be ok?  What if something went wrong and I didn't make it.  Would my husband ever be able to love the baby that ended his wife?  What is something happened to her?  What if she was so early that I couldn't take her home?  Becoming a mom is a whole new world of "what ifs" that absolutely no one has the answers too!  We all wish someone could tell us exactly what is going to happen, as if they could see the future.  Then they would send us off into our blissful family world with a baby manual with all of the "How To's" of being a parent.  Neither of those things will happen, so do not get your hopes up!  Things will likely not go the way you plan for them too, so writing out a 10 page birth plan is really a complete waste of time.  You will not only be disappointed when something goes wrong, you will feel defeated... and that is something no new parent needs to feel more of!  Before you are even discharged from the hospital, you are making decisions about the way you will raise your child.  Breast or bottle, cloth or disposable, cosleeping or crib sleeping... and the list goes on and on.  No one can make the choices for you, but everyone seems to have an opinion about it.  You will feel judged about whichever decision you make, and likely feel the need to defend your choice to others.  KNOW THIS... whatever choice you made, is what is best for YOUR child!  You are a good parent, so never question your choice.

When you get the baby home, you will be overwhelmed, exhausted, and you will dive head first into a guess and check system of how to keep the baby happy!  All of the "I will never be that kind of parent" topics seem to fade away, and you go into survival of the fittest mode!  You begin to realize that judging that mother in BabiesRUs because she let her kid scream while she was picking out a car seat, really wasn't fair.  Nights of spontaneous dinners at your favorite restaurant are long gone, and until you find a babysitter that you can afford... you will be eating take out at home instead!  Vacations feel more like work, and you realize that sometimes the trip, may not be worth the headache.

Then this baby becomes a toddler, and you go into the annoying and completely inconvenient baby proofing stage!  Gates, drawer locks, cabinet locks, outlet covers... if you can dream it, they sell it!  You will find your sweet and perfect child painting on your favorite blanket with fingernail polish, or a chunk of their own hair lying in the bathroom beside a pair of scissors that you could swear you put on the top shelf in a locked cabinet!  You will meet the absolute worst side to yourself when you begin potty training this child whom you so happily taught to be independent.  Potty training can make the happiest of all people contemplate running away from home!

Your toddler becomes a preschooler, and the attitude emerges.  You will stare at your child (who you used to rock to sleep) and think "Did she just say that??".  Yes she did, and she more than likely learned it from you!  You will catch yourself saying things like "Young Lady", "Don't you make me count to 3", and "You can't run around your friend's houses naked"... yes it will happen!

Some parents decide early on that one child is enough for their family!  Some decide that they want 2, 3, 4, Then we arrived at our house.  The reality of raising 2 children set in.  I was also recovering from an intense surgery, and while I had help... I had NO CLUE what I was doing!  He had colic, and when you mix that with a 2 year old who was eager to help, and desperate for attention... I had my hands full!
or even 19 more children!!!  When we met our 2nd child, and our 1st son... I was enamored with him!  So in love, so blissful, and I already knew what I was doing... I had this in the bag!  After our 4 day stay in the hospital, I was ready to go home.  I was a baby pro, and I was ready to rock the mom of 2 thing.

19 months later, I still do not know what I am doing!  While things feel "normal" (I hate that word!) I still question myself a lot.  I still have trouble asking for help, and I find myself reflecting a LOT about the last 4 years!  I guess I am trying to figure out where they went.  How did we get here!?!?  It is so hard to remember everything, and I am glad that I blogged about it!

We haven't made it past this yet, but I know a comical and interesting future awaits me on the road ahead!  Being a mom makes you realize that you have to laugh, or you will give your self an tumor trying to make everything perfect.  Being a mom is surreal, and while the days seem to stand still, the years seem to blow on by.  Soon the babies become children, and then kids, who turn into teenagers... who (usually) leave home one day.  Take in every day that you are blessed with.  When they are driving you crazy, walk away, lock yourself in a closet, and breathe!!  We all do it... come out of the closet like nothing ever happened, and start all over!  Your babies love you, so love them back... every second that you can!  Because they won't be babies for long...

 - Jessica